Saturday, February 12, 2005

Republican Dictionary

Activist Judge: one who makes a ruling that we don't agree with.

Collateral Damage: innocent people we accidentally kill in order to eliminate terrorists who want to kill innocent people.

Compromise: abandoning our principles.

Conservative: American, patriotic.

Constitutional Amendment: what we propose whenever an activist judge makes a ruling we disagree with.

Democrat: Liberal (see)

Environmentalist: nut case who prefer trees, deer and whales over corporate profits, 10-lane freeways, and cheap oil.

Fair and Balanced: whatever makes sense to us.

Family Values: exemplified by good Christians who don't have sex except to make babies.

Indecency: bare breasts.

Liberal: traitor.

Media Bias: any report which presents facts that contradict our beliefs.

Mission Accomplished: the easy part is over.

Minimum Wage: excessive compensation for our front-line employees who do the actual selling of our product.

Moderate: some weenie trying to have it both ways.

Morality: No sex.

National Interest: corporate profits.

Reaching Out: A willingness to work with anyone who shares our views.

Reform: eliminate, privatize, or cut funding.

Root Causes of Terrorism: a Liberal (traitors) term used to justify the acts of evildoers. Nothing we need to worryabout.

Second Amendment: the right to keep and bear arms of any type whatsoever without any regulation whatsoever. The phrase "shall not be infringed" clearly cancels out the phrase "well regulated militia."

States Rights: The right of states to determine their own laws and policies. Excludes popular referendums and initiatives which contradict federal policies established by Republican administrations.

Subsidies: what we eagerly spend to support highways, aviation and seaports, but we must never, ever, EVER give to Amtrak.

Tax Cut: a legal way to buy votes. An indirect way to encourage reform (see) on all federal domestic programs.

War on Terror: kill all dem bastards.

 

Sunday, February 6, 2005

I killed some software last night

It was Roxio Easy CD & DVD Creator 6. I had been using if for a little over a year, and it was the buggiest program I ever used, not to mention one of the most expensive.

 

My computer came with Adaptec Easy CD Creator 4. It was an excellent program, very easy to use, reliable and stable. Adaptec became Roxio somewhere around version 5, and I got version 6 because I needed its new video making capabilities for a wedding video project.

 

For making videos, version 6 was a bust. The DVD maker had a bug in the audio video synchronization which made it impossible to see beforehand how the finished product would look and sound. A downloadable upgrade, which was supposed to fix the bugs, rendered the entire thing useless, by preventing video burning entirely! Technical support was nonexistent. They told me to uninstall the whole thing, and reinstall it without the patches, which of course put me right back with the problems I started with. I ended up buying a different video program altogether, which worked fine for half the price.

 

The CD burner in version 6 worked well enough for making data CD backups, and the sound editor was kinda nice. But when it came to making music CDs the program was a dismal failure. It had a nearly identical interface as version 4, but it worked very differently. For starters, whenever I loaded a commercial CD to grab a few tracks, the program raised a fuss because it couldn’t access the internet to search a massive database in order to tell me what CD I had just inserted. Dammit! I know what CD I just inserted! Just let me USE it!

 

Once I wrestled together a custom CD, it would usually abort halfway through the burn, ruining the CD. Two nights ago I spent two hours and never did get what I wanted.

 

Last night, I tried again, and error messages kept popping up. I’d had enough. I uninstalled Roxio’s version 6, and reinstalled Adaptec’s version 4. I then made the CD I wanted in a short time, with only one glitch: it wouldn’t recognize one WMA music file I wanted to include. Otherwise it was perfect, the first time.

 

If anyone from Roxio is reading, let it be known I will never buy another Roxio product, and I would encourage others to avoid it as well.