Saturday, February 12, 2005

Republican Dictionary

Activist Judge: one who makes a ruling that we don't agree with.

Collateral Damage: innocent people we accidentally kill in order to eliminate terrorists who want to kill innocent people.

Compromise: abandoning our principles.

Conservative: American, patriotic.

Constitutional Amendment: what we propose whenever an activist judge makes a ruling we disagree with.

Democrat: Liberal (see)

Environmentalist: nut case who prefer trees, deer and whales over corporate profits, 10-lane freeways, and cheap oil.

Fair and Balanced: whatever makes sense to us.

Family Values: exemplified by good Christians who don't have sex except to make babies.

Indecency: bare breasts.

Liberal: traitor.

Media Bias: any report which presents facts that contradict our beliefs.

Mission Accomplished: the easy part is over.

Minimum Wage: excessive compensation for our front-line employees who do the actual selling of our product.

Moderate: some weenie trying to have it both ways.

Morality: No sex.

National Interest: corporate profits.

Reaching Out: A willingness to work with anyone who shares our views.

Reform: eliminate, privatize, or cut funding.

Root Causes of Terrorism: a Liberal (traitors) term used to justify the acts of evildoers. Nothing we need to worryabout.

Second Amendment: the right to keep and bear arms of any type whatsoever without any regulation whatsoever. The phrase "shall not be infringed" clearly cancels out the phrase "well regulated militia."

States Rights: The right of states to determine their own laws and policies. Excludes popular referendums and initiatives which contradict federal policies established by Republican administrations.

Subsidies: what we eagerly spend to support highways, aviation and seaports, but we must never, ever, EVER give to Amtrak.

Tax Cut: a legal way to buy votes. An indirect way to encourage reform (see) on all federal domestic programs.

War on Terror: kill all dem bastards.

 

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