Its the biggest news story of the day. Obesity is taking over America. Children are horribly overweight. Porkers are everywhere!
You just can't see 'em. Believe me, I've looked.
Yeah, statistics show, so they say, that unhealthy fat people are everywhere. And kids, they're all roly-polys. It said so on the news, so it must be true.
So where are they?
Most people look pretty normal to me. Sure there's a fat one here and there, but that has been true throughout history. And that hardly constitutes a widespread epidemic.
Maybe they're all concentrated in the Ozarks or something and that's skewing the statistics for the rest of us. (No offense against Ozarkans intended, I'm just using that as an example.)
Certainly these statistics don't jibe with another widespread concern that Americans, particularly females, are obsessed with being skinny. I still can't figure out if there are too many skinny women or too many fat people. The reports indicate both are happening at the same time. I do see a lot of skinny women, though. Too skinny to have curves.*
And all of these unhealthy diets must surely be killing people right and left. Yet longevity is at an all time high, or so they say. I'm not sure that's true either. They say that 150 years ago the average person only lived to be about 40. Yet Mark Twain lived to be 70 something. If that was unusual no doubt he would have been an attraction at a circus side show. "See a 70 year old man!"
Anyway, methinks the fat police need a real job.
*Some of them show up on MTV with silicone balloons to pretend they have breasts.
Addendum 6/15/04: My sister, who is one of only two people who actually read this journal, informs me that the fat people are not in the Ozarks after all. They're in Marion County, Oregon.